One day, when Molly was older, she decided to leave her tribe to see what the world had to offer. She knew that if she stayed cooped up with the same people and same rules, that she would be filled with regret. With that thought in mind, Molly packed up her essentials and vanished from all of the people she knew to seek her companionship that she desired. She didn't entirely know what she was doing, but Molly thought that the unknown would be better than what she already had.
The first several days on her own were rough. Molly was lost and didn't know exactly what direction to go or what she was going to encounter. She slept on the cold rigid floor of the outside world through the dark nights and was afraid of the creaky noises. She questioned her decision to leave her tribe, as loneliness was starting to creep back in to her life. There was no way she could go back, too, even if she was able to find her way. The people would not be so forgiving. In her thoughts as Molly continued her journey, she noticed from the corner of her eye that there was a creature following her. A little bit scared, Molly knew not to make any sudden or quick movements as to scare off what was behind her. Devising a plan, Molly was able to climb a quick tree to get out of harm's way. Once up the tree, she noticed the most adorable little animal lost in her tracks.
Molly called out to the creature and he seemed timid and unsure of what to do, so she became brave and climbed down from the tree to get a closer look. When Molly locked eyes with wild dog, she immediately knew that she had found what she was looking for. The calmed the dog down and asked it what it's name was. He told her his name was Charles, and that he got separated from his dog tribe. He seemed to have had a hurt leg and asked Molly for some assistance in helping him to get back home, saying that there would be some type of reward if she was able to. She agreed and the two were on their way.
Searching day and night, the two companions were able to finally reach their destination and find the dog's tribe. The wild dog gave the girl a slobbery kiss and wagged his tail with excitement for helping to find his family. Molly was unsure of what to do now, but Charles comforted her and asked her to make a wish. After she made the wish, a special ceremony was performed and she became a dog with Charles. They lived a long and happy life together with puppies and security.
Author's Note: I was inspired by one of the stories from the Native American Marriage Tales called "The Dog-Husband". The original story was way different then the one I am telling and had to do with after the dog and the girl were already together. I also changed the original story, but still isolated the girl from the tribe like she had been. Molly is looking for a companion throughout the story and encounters a dog when she is lost. She helps the dog find his way, and is welcomed with open arms into his tribe. I like happy endings as well, so I gave the story one!
Bibliography: Native American Marriage Tales by Stith Thompson
There are some points of interest in this story: the forbidden notion of a companion (I assume of the animal sort), Molly's implied background of unhappiness, and the ending of finding happiness in the animal kingdom.
ReplyDeleteBut I definitely wanted expansion on some of this, and more. Why did Molly's tribe consider companions dangerous, and was it all kinds of companions, not just animals? How did Molly know right away that Charles was what she was looking for? Did Molly have a family? I think your backstory and some cause and effect in the plot could be stronger.
The writing gets the story across, but it does have some awkward points, such as the lack of determiners at points (e.g. "a" and "the"). There some unfinished or strange phrases, like "no matter what she was going to" and "have had a hurt leg" (is the injury in the past or right now?).
It's a nice idea, Emily. I like your concept and parts of the world, and making your characters and wording clearer will make it even better. Good work.
I like how you start with Molly as a little girl and describe her living situation. I also appreciate that this little girl grew up and had the courage to leave home. A lot of people, still today, can't fathom getting up and leaving and taking a stand for themselves. You did a really nice job with this story, and I especially loved how it ended with puppies. I'm a sucker for puppies!
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